• "People vary greatly in their need for intimacy & closeness & these differences create clashes"
• 4 attachment styles: "Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, Disorganized"
• We're told that the ideal relationship is between two self-sufficient individuals.
• But
• "Codependency" - has become a buzzword.
• "Our need to share our lives with someone is part of our genetic makeup"
• Once we choose a partner there is no question about whether dependency exists or not - it always does.
• In order to have a strong survival advantage it was very beneficial for a couple to become one psychological unit.
• "We've been bred to be dependent on a significant other. The need starts in the womb and ends when we die"
• "There's no such thing as co-dependency, just effective and ineffective dependency" - Sue Johnson.
• The dependency paradox: Most people are only as needy as their unmet needs.
• Numerous studies have shown that dependency leads to independence.
• If people would become better at communicating their needs & feelings we'd likely see more relationships where people's needs aren't being met.

A video I've probably watched 3 or 4 times now - incredibly insightful and applicable to all kinds of interpersonal communication.